31 December 2016 Goodbye!

My dear John

You have been and still are the love of my life. But I am starting to see some truths now.

You are going to have a very difficult journey ahead of you now. And I hope that you can find what you want and your happiness. Look forward to what you might find at the end. A person that you want to be and love. Someone you feel proud of and that you understand.

For me, yes I am sad but Iv started to accept that this is not about me. That it never was about me. And I know you’ll get cross or upset with this when I say it but I have adapted to what you wanted and to be able to make this relationship work. And now I am tired. I kept trying to make it about me to keep you. But I’m done now. I’m not going to change again for someone.
I actually thought about it the other day and realised that I have no idea who I really want to be, if I am not living the life that you created us. But now I am going reinventing me! What do I want? Who am I if I got to make all my decisions?
What sort of life could I live?

I am actually ok. For the first time since this started I am actually ok and will be ok.

I know that you do love me for who I am. But I also know that I also made it sometimes so that you would love me more. I obviously some how knew that for you I just wasn’t quite right.

I am pretty wonderful and you know what? I don’t need to keep telling you that. I have so much to give and I have to you. But now it’s going to be about me giving to myself and one day I’ll find someone that loves as hard as I do. 😁

Right now though I want to find myself a new car. One that screams I’m single bitches πŸ˜œπŸ‘πŸ»

I love you john and don’t forget that. I loved you with everything I had and I loved you more than any one could.

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